On learning and reflection

Dear Kids,

It’s the beginning of the New Year. Who knows, maybe the hype will die down by the time you’re teens, but maybe not- we humans are an excitable lot. Right now the two of you are too young to understand most of it- although you, Sara, did have a lot of fun ringing it in at the amusement park with your parents and grandparents, and she was the cutest Santa a week ago. Sana’s been ill for most of the past fortnight- it’s officially the most helpless feeling that I can’t take on whatever illnesses you babies get so you can keep giggling and babbling. Anyway, I hope this new year brings you both the best of health so you can drive your parents up the wall with mischief (don’t tell them I said that).

So, the eve of the new year is a time for reflection, and there are a lot of things I learnt this year. I’m keeping some of them saved here if you two ever need it-

-If you can start feeling at home with your own self, you won’t *need* people to make you feel happy, loved or validated. You will then figure out who the people are that add positive meaning to your life, the ones you really want around you for the few times that you will fail to pick yourself up.

-It’s easier to cut out toxicity when you identify the way you want to treat “you” as a person. When you start talking to yourself like you do to your two closest friends, you’ll be much more protective of your inner Chi. (Also, if you don’t know what Chi is, we’re having a Kung Fu Panda movie marathon the moment you are old enough.)

-On some days you will write or create something that won’t make sense to more than five people, maybe fewer. Never compromise on your art for the sake of acceptability or popularity.

-Talk to people who’re nothing like you. In 2017, I’ve met people who prefer movies to reading, aliens to humans, texting to letter-writing, pink to black and blue, partying to staying in. Find out why. You’ll be surprised at how much you can grow merely from trying to understand opposite perspectives.

– Keep in touch with your core- the people you trust to love you through it all. Even if you sometimes have nothing to say on the phone, call them so you can hear them breathing, until the day you can sit next to them and do it again. Tell them you love them, with feeling and conviction, without cloudy metaphors. They may know it, but it never hurts to remind them.

-Read more. And more. And still more. If you’ve read three books of the same kind, pick one that’s completely unlike your “usual”. If you’re a non-fiction person, read a story. Write about reading, talk about what you read, get people hooked to reading things. Write more. There’s no other way.

– Open your heart and mind further. Breathe well. Drink more water. (I definitely need to work on this oneĀ )

I am also going to write more to you this year- I promise.

Lots of love,